Facebeef

Social Networking, a staple in our generation. The perfect place to show off all the girls that comment and you and party pictures and tell people how interesting you are. Turns out most of the time that's not the case. If you wrote your autobiography you'd make yourself sound pretty fucking sweet. Mine goes something along the lines of this: I was born in 1989, my dick is 13 inches, I'm super funny and everybody loves me, I lost my virginity to 27 year old Italian super model twins when I was 12. See where I'm going, Facebook and Myspace is pretty much a digital suck your own dick contest. Make your self sound cool and put pictures pf you in snazzy clothes with cute girls. Given this environment of self righteousness cock waving a truely awe inspiring event my happen. Ladies and gents ( aka the 3 people that might actually read this Hi Mom!) I present to you. E-Beef!

E-beef is digital player hating and shit throwing. Here are some prime examples of some Facebeef.

Round 1
Brian Wenning vs. Me

Atfer commenting "I heard you said something about my mom." on my friend's Facebook this is what ensued.




Ok, I think someone's mad. To be honest most of what he's saying is true. He wants to fuck me in the ass and beat me up. C'mon I weigh about 120 soaking wet, a fucking senior citizen could put me on my ass. Second of all I never even met this dude. I'm honored I could piss of a pro skater in one sentence to the point of incoherent rambling and rage at 3 a.m., sorry you lost sleep buddy. I'll keep wearing my skinny jeans and you keep typing like you have Parkinson's diesease. Thanks for your number baby I'll be sure to lube my ass.

Round 2
Doug Vanbrunt vs. Mad peeps



This is the picture.

This is the shit stain it left on the internet.

Doug Vanbrunt (Jersey Shore, NJ) wrote at 10:57am on October 10th, 2008 sabas hustle tree wat....and dam tober u grew the fuck up

Ralph Schell (Ocean Township High School) wrote at 9:04pm on October 15th, 2008 whats up, i talk shit on facebook cuz no one sees me in person

Brian Tober (Shore Regional High School) wrote at 9:16pm on October 15th, 2008 hahaha

Doug Vanbrunt (Jersey Shore, NJ) wrote at 9:33am on October 16th, 2008 haha ur just hatin on me cause u suck at skateboarding...aint my problem o ya and take the dick out ur ass that might help...ha

Brian Tober (Shore Regional High School) wrote at 10:11pm on December 1st, 2008 "whats up, i talk shit on facebook cuz no one sees me in person" hahahahahhaha killed.

Doug Vanbrunt (Jersey Shore, NJ) wrote at 3:04pm on December 2nd, 2008 little twerp and if they did see me in person they wouldnt do shit cause ur all fake as hell.....ya bro rock on..

Cody Benesta wrote at 7:01pm yesterday theres alot of shit talk going on for such small people

Ralph Schell (Ocean Township High School) wrote at 8:32pm yesterday i'd say

Ralph Schell (Ocean Township High School) wrote at 8:33pm yesterday he started it

Cody Benesta wrote at 9:18pm yesterday yeah i know, thats what happens though when you dont do shit with your life

Ralph Schell (Ocean Township High School) wrote at 9:25pm yesterday haha killed. close thread.

Brian Tober (Shore Regional High School) wrote at 11:08pm yesterday hahaha^

Andrew P Kennelly (Fashion Institute) wrote at 9:16am man i have a populare photo! mad comments! wohoo! hi cody!

Jon Edwards (Ocean Township High School) wrote at 10:06am haha!

Cody Benesta wrote at 12:16pm hey apk! i got some sick dunks from nikeid, you have to check them out when t get them!

Doug Vanbrunt (Jersey Shore, NJ) wrote at 3:12pm children...

Sebastian Pedrick (Long Branch High School) wrote at 3:31pm respectable adults steal money from their local skate shop for drugs.

Doug Vanbrunt (Jersey Shore, NJ) wrote at 3:34pm guess im not respectable than i can liive with that....and all u chumps talking shit..i can live with that too...

Cody Benesta wrote at 3:35pm yes what it is like to be a child, fully functional, normal height and a seizure free life.

Doug Vanbrunt (Jersey Shore, NJ) wrote at 3:39pm dam u guys do nothing but talk shit about me i think ur jealous a me... please come say it my my face... im done here...u guys can keep chating about me...if that makes u happy..have fun

Sebastian Pedrick (Long Branch High School) wrote at 3:40pm haha, i would have no problem saying it to your face. we'll catch up at rehab

Frank Marra wrote at 3:50pm LOLOLOLOL.

Doug Vanbrunt (Jersey Shore, NJ) wrote at 3:52pm i love this drama its fucking great...gettin you guys all worked up....bunch a fake people....SO FUCK ALL YOU HATERS....chumps hahahaha...im over it

Cody Benesta wrote at 4:13pm no ones getting worked up, we're just having a laugh. its funny you call us chumps. so what are you doing now, construction? promising career.

Cody Benesta wrote at 4:14pm who is fake? like what would you seriously do if one of us said something to your face?

Doug Vanbrunt (Jersey Shore, NJ) wrote at 7:02pm i havent done that shit in a year...and probably punch u in the face...i aint scared go ahead try me...

Sebastian Pedrick (Long Branch High School) wrote at 8:07pm haha, don't talk nonsense 4' 11''

Cody Benesta wrote at 9:52pm hahaha, what makes you think something like that would be successful. and what makes your so hard. do you not remember where you come from.

Jon Edwards (Ocean Township High School) wrote at 9:52pm its about to go down

Ralph Schell (Ocean Township High School) wrote at 10:08pm i keep thinking im gonna get wall comments but its just notifications for this picture

Frank Marra wrote at 10:40pm yeah i was about to feel real popular.

Justin White wrote at 12:53am tomorrow Facebeef round 2 holy shit.

Don't steal from Barewires to pay back a local drugdealer. Also, Cody would fuck this kid up, for serious, Cody's beard alone would annhilate him. I personally don't know Doug but I do know all the other people involved and they pretty much ripped this kid a new asshole and pissed blood cum into it.

I was in the cut.

Yeah, it's been awhile since I've wrote in this blog. A couple of people have asked me about it( actually only Sebastian and Jon) so I decided to start writing again, and with 2 guest authors. We be collective chronicling douchebaggery and drinking/skating. The posts will be hateful and should not be taken seriously unless your in the mood to have your feelings hurt. So with that said here is a quick summary of what I've been doing lately.

So summer was filled with beer and bad haircuts. In that exact order.

Exhibit A. Beer


Either Pablo left his oven on or he has a string of 42 in. anal beads up his ass, and we all
know Pablo is an ovenless communist.

Arabic Jack Johnson was getting proper.

Slip and slide, glow in the dark legs and natty ice. The ingredients of Beast Mode.

Picture of us before our diabetic comas.

The night of beer foot.

American History X audition. Owen Wilson is in the background being a faggot, fuck that kid.

From left to right: Indian guy from Johnny Quest, Master of Sexual , Anna Nicole Smith,
some serial rapist,Sloppy Drunk, Jim Brewer, Anne Frank and Shawn Micheals.


And heres me doing what I do best, which is not get drunk and tell people I have a big dick, but being a smug dickhead who thinks he's cooler than everyone else.

I'll start updating this site more often instead of chain smoking and looking at stupid fucking shoe websites. It's more productive and it offends people.