Fuck New Year's Eve. Fuck it, fuck it in it's confetti throwing, champagne drinking, horning blowing ass with scissors taped to your cock. Most people get shithammered drunk and end up starting off the new year with regret. I however, did not get drunk, I was the designated fucking driver. My car sucks so fucking bad and I have to drive around a bunch of fucking drunk mongoloids. No one could imagine the amount of rage I was going through that night as I sat sober having people scream in my face. I'd rather experience Auschwitz than go through it again.
This is my mating call. Get on my fuckstick.
Holy fucking high waters. Flood advisory in affect.
The same rules applies to all women, make a sandwich or fuck off.
I'd rather watch gay porn than talk to this girl. She had the IQ of a used colostomy bag.
Registered sex offender.
If my nose gets any bigger New Jersey is gonna fall into the ocean.
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